Wednesday, July 6, 2011

My Music Miracle

It’s no surprise to anyone that I have been dealing with a lot lately… Most don’t fully understand what, but you have some idea.  There’s no need to fully go into the darkness of the past because this is a celebratory note.  Have you ever loved something so much and then have it taken away from you, only for it  be given back and then stolen, for what felt like forever?  I have. 

Let me explain… 

I was always a musical child; I remember being very young and taking my mother’s knitting needles and pretending they were a violin!  I could tell you, within mere seconds of hearing a song, who the artist was and what CD it was from.  Music coursed through my veins and made me feel alive.  I was head soprano of every choir and was even asked to join a girl band and tour Canada and the US.  That is the very day my life changed.  I said no, I wanted to get my education before I hopped on a bus or a plane.  It was at that moment doors started closing for me.  A man with a big ego and an even bigger grudge felt personally insulted by my choice to turn his offer down and he made it his life’s mission to break my dreams of singing.  I never fully bounced back from that, but I did my best.  I was almost there when another person came into my life and that is when I lost my voice completely.  It wasn’t that I was too shy or out of practice.  I had completely lost my voice.  It was gone.  I couldn’t hold a single note to save my life.  Two years of intense stressed killed the one true love in my life.  I have been trying to recuperate this year by banishing all controllable stress from my life.  In a sense, I chose to be selfish.  I put myself first and made sure I considered how every decision I made was going to affect me.  Now don’t take that the wrong way and think I became self-absorbed or egoistic.  I simply put myself first in an attempt to regain balance in my life. 

Now, the happy part of my story begins…

Tonight I had a very relaxing evening, I simply did things I wanted to do and had a quiet night.  I thought to myself, “it’d be nice to listen to some music while in the shower tonight”, so I brought my laptop in and one of my favourite songs came on… “If I Die Young” by The Band Perry.  I just felt it, I took a deep breath and I sang.  As I realized what was happening my voice grew stronger, more powerful.  I couldn’t believe my ears; I was singing the song and hitting every note.  I burst into tears when I carried that high note without fail.  It’s back, my voice is back.  It’s not perfect, not by a long shot.  I couldn’t win American Idol, but the voice I once had was coming back to me; growing in strength with each note.

This may not seem like much to some people, but if you can imagine having something you love taken from you, then you can imagine how it would feel to get it back.  There are no words to describe the joy in my heart right now, everything seems inadequate.  All I can say is my heart is full and I can’t wait to see where this goes… :)

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